The End

After a year and five months of work, my marriage has (semi) officially come to an end. He didn't like the boundaries I set up and told me he didn't want to work on our marriage anymore, and I am relieved that there is finally an end to the limbo that I've experienced for a long time. I thought I'd end that chapter of my life with a few lessons I've learned:
1. I have a tendency to start something - relationships, projects, etc. - and then ask God to help me work my way through it, rather than praying over it carefully ahead of time and then stepping into it. This impetuosity leads to a lot of fun adventures, but also some pain.
2. I like the fact that I'm independent and I like making decisions on my own. So, when I've made a questionable decision - even knowing in my heart it's questionable - I avoid getting any critical feedback by presenting it in a way that pushes away any criticism. When I told people I was marrying Joe, I started the discussion by saying I knew it was quick, but I was going to do it... heading off any questions people might have. I am learning to ask for advice and state my decisions as less set in stone, so that I can receive the benefit of the advice of other people wiser than me.
3. I love risk and adventure, and my relationships often have a hint of that. So, seeking risk and adventure in other areas of my life will keep me satisfied in that area and, hopefully, allow a more positive romantic relationship develop. (This is the main reason for purchasing the motorcycle).
4. I don't need a romantic relationship, but I need to be open to it. I need to find a man that fits my life a lot more. I used to get angry at myself for being so picky, but in this case I wasn't picky enough. If God has a man out there for me, that man will need to have the same values and dreams for the future that I do, because I can't serve God with anything less.
5. And another idea I'm thinking through - because of the trauma J has experienced with her dad and step-dad, I may need to push off any potential romance into the future 4-5 years. It will depend on circumstances, and she's says she's open to it, but she and I need to heal before we can be ready to add anyone else in.

So, I thank you for your prayers over the last few years. I am very contented with my life right now, and I know that I've been through things I needed to experience in order to get myself facing the right direction again. I'm ready to see where we go from here.