Baking Season

For the last couple weeks, I've been baking like crazy. Between the birthday, my small group, and Halloween (with some little snacks thrown in for no reason at all), I've used up a lot of flour, sugar, and other baking ingredients. A side effect to the baking - dishes. Each of the things I've baked has been a brand new recipe for me. I've been enjoying trying out new recipes over the past several months. I get bored when we have the same dish over and over again, so I bought a recipe book and J and I went through it together - choosing the recipes we thought looked good. When that was done, I went through my recipe files, which has been filled with things I thought about making at one point but never got around to. So I've made a lot of dishes from that file, some good, some recycle-worthy. I also have a recipe blog I subscribe to and a lot of recipes that I starred and saved for later on my Google Reader. So now I'm going through that as well. I find cooking fun when it's an experiment. And its even more fun when I try it out on other people.
J's Birthday - Chocolate Cake with Mint frosting (very, very, very sweet, but tasty in small batches)
Small Group - Spinach dip (I salvaged the disappointing recipe by adding my own ingredients) and Gingerbread Scones (goooood)
Tonight - Pumpkin Muffins That Taste Like Donuts for the Halloween party (we'll see if I bring any home tonight)

Those who can't do, teach

I realize that I am a professor of communication - when my counselor asked what I did for a living, she laughed, and with good reason. I am not the best conversationalist. Now, this doesn't mean I don't know how to communicate effectively. I know what to do and what not to do, but I'm just not a big talker. I can go very, very long periods of time without saying anything. I'm comfortable with silence. When people ask me questions about my life, I'm very free with that information. I have no trouble opening up at that point and honestly sharing what's happening. What I have trouble with, is offering that information before being asked. I don't necessarily believe people will be interested or have the energy to hear what I have to say. And I don't see relevance in discussing things that happened in the past. So this is something that needs to change. Communication is not just knowing how to say things appropriately, but also being willing to put yourself out there - be vulnerable for a bit while you share your life with people. I've been rejected in that area before. I've been ignored, cut off, and made fun of at various times in my life. Today I went on a 45 minute walk with my husband and I purposely used it as a time to get past all that. To share my hopes and dreams, my past experiences, and my present life with him. This is something I didn't do a lot of before. We talked mostly about the day to day life, but when we don't talk about the past and the future, we can't really know each other. So I'm taking some steps in that direction, and I wasn't rejected or made fun of or ignored. He was interested, he had thoughts to add, we had a great conversation. I may have my PhD, but I'm still learning.

Baby Steps

We started couples counseling today. We have already taken a 4-week class in communication which was somewhat helpful, but didn't really get to the root of our issues. Today we started digging in to the root. It seemed productive on one hand - we brought up issues and talked about them. On the other hand, it's clear that there are still issues that are hidden and unaddressed. Since we're living apart, we aren't faced with the day-to-day part of living together and that's where the real test will be. So, the question is, when do I risk living together again. If it was just me, it would be one thing. I've got someone else to think about, though, and she is VERY resistant to changing our current situation. I'm praying through my days, though, and trusting that God will make things clear to me at some point in the future. At this point, it's clear as mud.

Happy October

The leaves are changing, the weather is cooling, there's a hint of frost in the air... at least that's what I understand from people in other parts of the country. Still shorts and tank tops here, although there's a suggestion of cooler, rainier weather to come. For our home, October means BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!! And this year J is turning 13 so it means BECOMING A WOMAN ON MY BIRTHDAY MONTH or something similar to that. I think we've finally nailed down our birthday celebration location (J was given the option of choosing anyplace within driving distance to visit). She decided that she just wants to go to LA and take in the city. Since this means a considerably shorter drive than other places we might go, I'm going to surprise her by either going to the Millenium Biltmore Hotel or the Omni Los Angeles Hotel both of which of swanky and over-the-top. I still haven't figured out her 12 tests of womanhood, but have gotten 7 figured out. She is to host a dinner party, learn a language (to some extent), go on a 5K for a charity of her choice, learn to keep her finances in check, enter some of her art in an art contest, take a child care/babysitting class, and memorize some key scripture passages. If I get inspired in the next couple weeks, I'll add more, or I'll just have her help me come up with the last 5.

She has been doing amazingly well in the past couple months. She loves being in junior high (crazy, right?) and she's been more social than I can remember her being since we moved to Cali. She went to a school dance, has had friends over, she joined the color guard team. She still is not too excited about going to counseling, but she sought out her school counselor on her own (the counselor told her that the type of help J needs is not the thing she does). We haven't had any tears or break downs for a while and MY counselor says it sounds like J is doing well and has some great boundaries. As long as J and I are able to communicate with each other, things should continue to go along positively. It's a huge relief to me that my girl is okay and that she might have learned some good lessons for the boys/men she has in her life in the future. Thank you for your prayers for her, they have really been answered.