Ladies and Gentlemen, as a member of the academic set, I am proud and excited to share with you the newest study from Ohio State University and published in the NY Times that sheds light on a huge problem in our world today. As many of you who grew up with multiple siblings know, skinflint parents who did not have the good sense to buy huge houses with individual rooms for each child are endangering the lives of their children through the use of... wait for it... BUNKBEDS!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, researchers have spent time and money to discover that children who sleep in bunkbeds are afflicted with "a bump on the head or worse" following a night in these death traps. I don't know about each of you, but I'd like to see some more time and money put into this important issue. What is the ratio of injuries from rolling off the bed and falling from the ladder. Do the bumps incurred from sitting up too quickly and bumping one's head on the top bunk (or ceiling!) cause trauma that lasts into later childhood? I myself was a resident of the bunkbed, and my selfish older sister insisted on sleeping on the top bunk. She now makes more money than I do, is there a correlation there? Inquiring minds want to know.
I am infinitely grateful to the NY Times for publishing this article. I only hope they aren't too late to protect the future generations from the horrors that I and my cohort have experienced!
2 comments:
As the supposed "selfish older sister" I am compelled to point out that we did use a rotational system for the bunk beds. I also had to spend some time in the lower bunk and recall vividly using my feet to give my sister in the top bunk some additional height. That may have caused her some stress that snowballed into all sorts of psychological issues for which I am extremely sorry!
he he he,
you're forgiven
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