Those who can't do, teach

I realize that I am a professor of communication - when my counselor asked what I did for a living, she laughed, and with good reason. I am not the best conversationalist. Now, this doesn't mean I don't know how to communicate effectively. I know what to do and what not to do, but I'm just not a big talker. I can go very, very long periods of time without saying anything. I'm comfortable with silence. When people ask me questions about my life, I'm very free with that information. I have no trouble opening up at that point and honestly sharing what's happening. What I have trouble with, is offering that information before being asked. I don't necessarily believe people will be interested or have the energy to hear what I have to say. And I don't see relevance in discussing things that happened in the past. So this is something that needs to change. Communication is not just knowing how to say things appropriately, but also being willing to put yourself out there - be vulnerable for a bit while you share your life with people. I've been rejected in that area before. I've been ignored, cut off, and made fun of at various times in my life. Today I went on a 45 minute walk with my husband and I purposely used it as a time to get past all that. To share my hopes and dreams, my past experiences, and my present life with him. This is something I didn't do a lot of before. We talked mostly about the day to day life, but when we don't talk about the past and the future, we can't really know each other. So I'm taking some steps in that direction, and I wasn't rejected or made fun of or ignored. He was interested, he had thoughts to add, we had a great conversation. I may have my PhD, but I'm still learning.