Work in Progress

My mother suggested that I update you all daily on how many hours I worked on my dissertation - a way to keep myself accountable. I'm not sure I'm willing to do that, because then it keeps me accountable. It also adds to the guilt factor that's never far from my thoughts. For example, today I didn't have to teach so theoretically had the whole day to work on the paper. Instead, I graded (a positive thing), had a meeting at school in which a crisis occurred which will also take up a majority of my time on Friday (not positive, but a good use of time), spent time with Jordan after school (positive), watched a TV show (not positive), and then tonight I'll watch the finale of America's got talent (I'm rooting for Nuttin but Stringz or Eli whats-his-name) while finishing my grading (half positive, half not).
The thing about working on an extended project of any kind, and the problem with being in school in general, is that you're never done with anything. There is no coming home at the end of the day and forgetting what happened at work, because work leaks into all aspects of your life. When you're a single parent, too (yeah, I had to add that loaded term as a get-out-of-guilt-free card) you have to balance the importance of finishing up the neverending project with just hanging out being goofy. So, I will try for the month of October to keep a running total of hours worked, but I will refuse to allow myself to apologize for hours not worked. I know in my heart whether I have a valid excuse for not working and guilt only ways you down, it doesn't perk you up.
That's the plan, thanks for reading this far if you did, and send positive thoughts and prayers my way... my thesis advisor hasn't talked to me in 5 months so let's hope the work I am doing is not all for nothing.

October 1 - hours worked on dissertation - zero